Lunch…
… and more. Including nudity!?
Right. It’s 10:46. I’m on the bed with a large glass of 0,0% something chocolate milk! Leave me to go shopping and I come back with a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white, the chocolate milk, a 2ltr bottle of water and 2ltrs of the cheapest sugary thin yellow liquid that is supposed to be juice! And some chocolate biscuits! Eggs, sausages etc. outside it’s a noisy Saturday. The sky is a pristine blue. I’ve got House Martins nesting outside the window and they’re busy a comin’ an’ a goin’. It’s my rest day. Radio Clasica is on in the lounge. The 0,0% something chocolate milk is bl**dy luvverly. Anyways.
Back to yesterday. The restaurant was very busy. StBOA (Stating the Bl**din’ Obvious Award 🥇 ) goes to me for that; and not really realising that 1x Coach 🚌 = LOTS of silly old sausages! And, initially I couldn’t sit outside ‘cause of the old folk. But, the uber small, uber skinny old woman who looked like John ‘Jackie’ Wright*, wouldn’t let me sit inside ‘cause the restaurant was set up for… you guessed it… the silly old sausages on the coach tour! The uber small, uber skinny old gel was uber small, uber skinny ‘cause she never stopped moving running! In fact, despite being about 70+ she ran after one of the cars when they left their mobile behind! Amazeballs she was. And spoke good Ingerlish. Anyways the coach tour moved in leaving me out 😞 side. I wanted the black rice, but, it’s for two only, but, got it anyway at a premium of 4€. A nice glass of white. The rice was OK. It was definitely black! Look
It looks charred, but, it wasn’t. It was OK. Little short of ‘ingredients’, but. Another glass of white wine to wash it down and. Suitably rested it was time to move on; but, I didn’t want to!! In the shade fed and ‘watered’ looking out at the glare of the paddy fields opposite. You know how it is. But. Went in to pay. Got my phone out. Grizelda says ‘No card the machine isn’t working’. I (genuinely) had no money; some shrapnel in my back pocket. ‘Can you do money transfer?’. ‘No’. ‘Can you do Bizum?’. ‘No’. Bizum isa free payment system supported by most Spanish banks. Oh! Dear! Stalemate. Goes to talk to the boss. Comes back with the boss. Says she’ll come back with me until she realises I ‘live’ in Deltebre, AND, I’ve walked. Discuss options. Come up with a solution. Shake hands and ‘write it off’!? BINGO! There is such a thing as a FREE LUNCH!? Yeah, I did have to sleep with her, but!?! Nah! Not rilly! 😝
Quickly back out into the sun. Down the road to the sea again. The real sea. And a five mile beach!? ⚠️ WSA (Weird Sh*t Alert)! ⚠️ Literally as I arrived a couple got out of their car with their beach kit. I looked at them and looked again. They were the couple that sat near me, both at dinner time (He had the goats cheese salad like I did) and at breakfast, in the now very distant (in time and space) Hotel Flamingo 🦩 Gratuitous flamingo there. Said ‘Hello’ and explained and wished I hadn’t! They looked (i): Confused (ii): Worried! Anyways. I left them to their confusion and walked down the track. Then thought ‘What am I doing? There a beach there’. Walked down the beach. Then thought ‘What am I doing? With my boots and socks on’. Took them off and walked in the surf! Bit romantic that; it was calm as. Then thought ‘What am I doing? I can go swimming’. The beach is five miles long and virtually empty apart from me an’ that fisherman about a quarter of a mile away and the bloke following pushing his bike!?! I think it odd, but. I stop. He stops! I go into the dunes to undress for swimming. He moves on. I get undressed and hide behind a bush! He goes fifty yards parks his bike (No it’s not an euphemism!) and walks back past as I skirt the bush to avoid/hide from him! He appears behind me in the dunes!? 😳 I’m not worried about him. I’m not worried about him seeing me naked. I’m worried that if I leave my stuff (iPad, iPhone and Spanish phone) whilst I swim, he has a bike and. But, he’s seen enough (From that distance? – Ed) and finally goes. I bring my kit out (iPad, iPhone and Spanish phone) from behind the bush and take it down to the now deserted beach and swim. And sunbathe. And swim and sunbathe. And swim to get the sand off and. Suitably refreshed I walk on. Getting tired now. I’ve done about… 12 miles. I say to myself I’ll stop at a nice bar and not a minute after saying so there is Glops Xiringuito! A beachside bar. And a very nice one too. A high chair (Not a highchair) and table and a jarra of Amstel. Watch the Audouin’s Gulls, the Sandwich Terns ✅ and the odd sight of Great (White) Egret’s over the sea. Pretty ladies and a Slender Billed Gull and the worlds a good place. I get ripped off for 10€, but, hey! I’m rich an’ old, so.
I walk on. At the end of the road is a nature reserve. With ‘hides’ an’ everythin’. I’m walking the sandy path and disturb my Daily Hoopoe. THEN! Then! A bird flies past looking very much like a HUGE House Martin and it’s a COLLARED PRATINCOLE !! ✅ I have seen one before, but, a looonnng time ago. It’s flying away. But, I get reasonable views. I smile. It comes back and flies past looking AT me. I smile some more. There’s a big lake. Very little on it and you can’t see anything from the hide ‘cause no one has cut the bamboo down. I move on to the observation tower. The Pratincole comes back past. I smile again! Up the tower. Too distant, but, I make out Coot and my second duck of the trip; Red Crested Pochard. The reserve and tower is at the very end of the Ebro river. The same river I was following a hundred miles and a couple of weeks (Or more) ago. It’s 15km (Or more!) from here and I gird my loins for the 3hrs 26mins walk! It’s gone eight. I’ll be back by ELEVEN!? I start off. The road is long and straight. I avert my eyes from the restaurants in Riumer and set off. It’s nice enough walking and four VERY close Bee-Eaters and a couple of ‘showy’ Golden Orioles help, BUT. f*ck THIS!! 9 miles and three hours!?
Ramón was a 52yo Triathlete. His BIG van was very very comfortable and 20 mins later he’s dropping me off outside the church. I avoid the bar on the corner. I get in with aching knees. I pour a large glass of the cheapest sugary thin yellow liquid that is supposed to be juice and water and shower. I pour a glass of white wine and watch the Germany 🇩🇪 Scotland 🏴 match!! I eat almonds. I pour another glass of white wine and watch more of the Germany Scotland match! I pour the last. Scotland get thrashed. Don’t know the final score. I was asleep by then. What a day! In ya best German: Wunderbar. Catalan: Meravellós. Ingerlish: Sh*t hot!
* Benny Hill’s sidekick!
